chasing Her

A Memoir of Desire and Devotion

“This book is about desire.
The kind that drives you crazy.”

Book
What this book is

"Women were the doorway, not the destination."

This is the story of what it took to learn the difference — the heartbreak, the hunger, the fumbling, the breakthroughs. All of it. Everything in this book happened.

Prologue Reading

"

I didn't become whole by conquering desire. I became whole by learning how to feel — without fleeing, performing, or numbing.

— Chasing Her, Author's Note

It named something I couldn't

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"This memoir is honest in a way that costs something. You can feel it on every page. I felt seen in a way no self-help book has ever managed."

— Matt James
★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"It was comforting to read a man’s perspective and be reminded that men can learn, become more conscious, and change the dynamics of intimacy toward a healthier future."

— Miheala
★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"Oh my God Balwin! I couldn’t stop reading this. It’s exactly what is really happening. Everyone needs to read it! But I didn’t like the tantra part, did you have to write that part?”

— Balwin's Mom

The Story in Fragments

Balwin Ratra
Balwin Ratra

"I'm Balwin, the guy inside this book, now a writer and coach. It took me years of wreckage to learn about the fire of desire and how to skillfully navigate it. My memoir chasing Her tells that story, unfiltered. These days I guide people through the same terrain — faster, and with a lot less bleeding.

Work with Balwin →

The ending still needs to be lived

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